A Boyband
Snow White & The Seven Dwarves
by Billy Burrew
Cast Of Characters
Snow White: Lance Bass
Evil Queen: Justin Timberlake
Prince Josh: JC Chasez
The Magic Mirror: Paul Lynde (Uncle Arthur From TV's Bewitched)
The Seven Dwarves
Dumpy: Nick Carter
Gimpy: Brian Littrell
Mouthy: Kevin Richardson
Twitchy: Chris Kirkpatrick
Portly: Joey Fatone
Howdy: Howie Dorough
Boozy: AJ McLean
Once upon a time, there lived a great
Queen. She and her husband, the King, ruled the lands and were
very happy, except, that they wished for a child. The queen
sat by the fire one night and wished for a beautiful girl, with
lips blood red, hair the color of spun gold, and eyes the color
of the sea. The King, a manly man, wished for a strapping young
son to raise to take over his kingdom for him when he died.
Both regents wished so hard that, not a year later, they both
got their wishes...kind of.
The Queen died giving birth to a beautiful
child, with golden hair and blood red lips, and pale sea green
eyes as was her wont. However, the child, upon further inspection
by the court midwife, turned out to be a boy. Grieved as he
was over the loss of his wife, the King was secretly happy that
he now had a son and heir.
Years later, however, the King found himself
somewhat disturbed by his son's rather effeminate behavior.
Rather than marauding and gallivanting around the castle like
most young princes, the young man kept his own council, learning
the more womanly pastimes such as how to read, write, sew, cook,
embroider, arrange flowers and draw. The King finally had enough
when one morning, he looked at his son and realized that the
young man had plucked his eyebrows to perfect curved lines and
was wearing a light covering of foundation and just the slightest
hint of eye liner to bring out the color of his eyes.
Infuriated by his nelly behavior, the King
shunned his young son and went on a short, bloody, very violent
Crusade. The King believed that massacring pagans and sinners
in the name of God was a great way to clear one's mind and let
off some steam. The Crusade not only cleared the King's mind,
but also showed him the error of his ways when he fell in love
with one of his men-at-arms, a gorgeous young man with golden
blond curls and eyes like blue fire. Upon returning to his Kingdom
with his new lover, the King made peace with his son, married
his lover and, unfortunately, died in his sleep from a heart
attack about a month later.
Due to the fact that the Prince was still
too young to rule, the reins of leadership were passed temporarily
to the King's lover, Justin, whom the kingdom had somewhat contemptuously
nicknamed "The Queen". Justin's rule turned out to
be quite different from the previous King. Justin ruled with
an iron fist, and was quick to lose his temper. And when he
lost his temper, the person that caused his anger usually lost
their head. Those who called him a queen in public quickly found
this out, as Justin had those people quickly and messily executed.
After that first notable drop in population in the first month
of his rule, the people of the kingdom got used to shying away
from their new Queen....er King and keeping quiet much more
often in public so as not to lose their own heads.
A lesser known foible of the new monarch
was his overwhelming vanity. Justin had many portraits of himself
made and hung throughout the castle, replacing those of his
now dead lover, the king. Justin also had mirrors put in every
corner of every room of the house, just in case he needed to
fix his curls or check his make-up. It was, however, in Justin's
bedroom where his true vanity would show through. After becoming
Queen....er...King...ugh...um...After becoming the new Monarch
(much better!), Justin brought into the castle, under cover
of night, a collection of magic mirrors. These mirrors were
possessed of all sorts of different magics and were capable
of amazing things. Justin could use them to eavesdrop on his
enemies, transport himself to different parts of the kingdom,
and in the case of the largest mirror, call forth the all seeing,
all knowing spirit of the mirror and question him at length.
Although most rulers would have taken great advantage of these
magics, Justin, being the vain queen…monarch that he was,
would approach the largest mirror each day and ask it the same
question.
"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is
the cutest one of all?"
The mirror was inhabited by a rather feisty
spirit, and after a while, this constant play of vanity began
to work his all seeing, all knowing patience. However, since
the answer he gave had been the same one he had given for the
past several months, the mirror would give it daily and then
try to forget that it was trapped inside a mirror that was owned
by a megalomaniac narcissistic gay boy.
"Without a doubt for before me he stands,
you, my liege are the cutest in the land."
Justin would turn and smile and then walk
out of his chamber. The mirror would wait until the young monarch
was out of hearing before adding, "You've also got, without
a doubt, the biggest ego hereabouts. Thy vanity is ever growing,
despite the fact that thy age is showing. Thy mood will change
as one day soon, you'll stand and primp within this room and
ask me answer thy vain request, only to find that thou no longer
is the best. As time slides by like grains of sand, thou shalt
not always be cutest in the land. And, Miss Thing, I can't tell
you how much I look forward to that day."
One day, many months later, Justin approached
the mirror and smiled into it's black, almost non-reflective
surface and asked the same question he had asked many, MANY
times before.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, tell me,
who is the cutest one of all:?
The mirror yawned loudly and was prepared
to give the same answer when it realized that the usual answer
was no longer the correct answer. Somehow, between the current
day before and that day, someone in the kingdom had become cuter
than the big curly headed Queen standing in front of him, primping
and tapping his foot as he waited for his answer.
The mirror, trying hard to keep a smile from
his face (and losing miserably to the smile), looked back upon
the young man in front of him and let him have it.
"Tho thou art as nearly as fair as thou
art vain, this time your answer will bring you pain. With hair
as spun gold and lips blood red and eyes the color of the sea,
another royal has stolen the prize...and has grown to be far,
far cuter than was thee."
Justin's breath left in a rush and he fell
to his knees. He was no longer the cutest in the land?!? He
had been knocked out of the top spot by his own son-in-law?!?
'Oh shit!' Justin thought. 'It's all downhill
from here. I knew I shouldn't have executed the court aerobics
instructor and personal fitness trainer. Once you lose it, you
can't get it back...unless....'
Justin turned to his bedside, where his lover,
the old king, had kept his collection of weapons. The weapons
lay stacked in a trunk beside the bed after Justin had taken
them down to put up one of his oversize color painting of him.
Justin looked at the weapons and smiled evilly,
"I can get it back...if I eliminate the competition."
Prince Lance sat in his room, concentrating
on a particularly complex piece of embroidery that he was doing,
when the door to his chamber opened to reveal his father-in-law
Justin. Justin entered the room and smiled darkly as he looked
at his competition, er...son-in-law. Justin chatted at length
with Lance asking him if he would mind taking a trip to the
lands around the castle, to pick wildflowers to put in vases
in the great rooms of the castle to brighten up the place. Lance
nodded eagerly and smiled, happy to go out of the castle and
make himself useful.
Justin had his huntswoman Nan accompany Lance
to the woods. Nan was a new huntswoman who enjoyed working for
the King, and had worked in several different areas of the castle
during her employ. This job intransience was partially due to
her tendency to meddle in the affairs of her co-workers and
inadvertently forget her station and boss them around. It made
her a bane to many in the castle, so the King would shuffle
her to another job rather than letting her go. Before they left,
Justin took Nan aside and gave her a box, telling her that,
if she wished to continue in his employ, the young Prince's
heart would have to be in the box when he returned from the
trip. Nan nodded, remaining silent for once, which in and of
itself was nothing short of miraculous.
Nan took her young charge deep into the wooded
glens, away from any nearby dwellings. Nan had pulled out her
knife and was prepared to kill the young man when she felt a
pang of remorse in her heart. She shrugged it off, believing
it to be nothing more than another sign of her slide into menopause,
not unlike hot flashes that women her age began to have to deal
with.
Nan's knife fell from her hand and she bade
the young man to run away, telling him that his father-in-law
meant to kill him, and would stop at nothing to reach that end.
Lance turned white, or at least whiter than he already was,
which was pretty white to begin with, but, you get the picture,
right?
The young man ran off into the forest, crossing
over several hills and dales, until finally coming upon an enormous
house deep in the woods. Lance knocked at the door of the house
and it creaked opened, it appeared that no one was at home.
Lance went inside and looked around. The dining room table was
set with seven place settings, so Lance surmised that this must
be some sort of large family or communal house. Lance walked
into the kitchen and saw that the remains of the breakfast lay
all around with dirty pots and pans on the stove and used plates
in the sink. Lance, being a perpetual neat freak, began to fill
the huge sink with hot water as he swept out the kitchen. After
he had cleaned, dried, and re-shelved all the pots, pans and
dishes, Lance yawned sleepily and went to explore the other
parts of the house. He noticed that the owners of the house
had an enormous library. Lance walked around the library for
quite some time looking at all the titles on their shelves as
he dusted them. Was it mentioned before that he was a neat freak?
Lance walked upstairs and came upon a large bedroom with seven
medium sized beds, all unmade and unkempt. After cleaning all
the sheets and re-making each of the beds, Lance cleaned out
the upstairs bathroom, which could only be politely describes
as rustically bohemian, it's floor carpeted with shed hair,
mold and mildew and the toilet that's condition made Lance's
stomach turn. Lance was exhausted, having now cleaned the whole
house. He yawned and stretched and then laid down on the closest
bed and fell fast asleep.
Hours later, as the sun set in the sky, the
owners of the house, 7 performing dwarves returned from their
latest gig, several miles away in the village. They approached
the house and immediately saw that someone had intruded on their
home. They gasped as they saw their clothes, clean and drying
on clotheslines around the house, clotheslines that they had
never used before. They went inside and goggled at the sparkling
tidiness of the great room, kitchen dining room, and downstairs
bathroom. Silently, all seven crept upstairs to the bedroom
area. As they entered the bedroom, they saw that all but one
of their beds had been cleaned and re-made. They approached
the unmade bed and jumped as the figure sleeping in it yawned
and turned over onto his back, revealing blond hair and a smooth
bare pale expanse of chest through the covers.
"It's just a boy!" a rather large
blond dwarf exclaimed.
"No kidding Pudgy" replied a skinny
dwarf sarcastically. The second dwarf was covered with lots
of tattoos, smoked stinky clove cigarettes and wore sunglasses
inside the house as well as outside, "We thought it was
a freakin' white turnip!"
"Knock it off you two!" ordered
the tallest of the dwarfs, a dark haired dwarf with hugely bushy
eyebrows, muscular physique and a very big mouth.
The two dwarves turned to him and nodded.
"So...whatarewegonnadoabouttheboy, huh
huh huh???" asked a small hyperactive dark haired dwarf
with a goatee, his words coming so fast that they blended together
in a blur.
"Slow down Twitchy. Take a breath...man...who's
been feeding you pixie dust again?" asked a darker skinned
dwarf with long brown hair and full red lips.
"I did Howdy.....He took my pixie sticks
out of my lunchsack today." replied another handsome brown/blond
haired dwarf.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyouforthepixiestickstoo,
Gimpy" Twitchy replied, bouncing up and down in place as
he spoke.
"Well? Are we gonna stand here all night
like a bunch of ninnies? Wake his white butt up and talk to
him. He's in my bed!" the last dwarf, a large goateed dwarf
with a bearish physique, but kind eyes, said smiling slightly.
The six dwarves all looked to the tallest
one and smiled, "Wake him up, Mouthy."
Mouthy turned and sat down on the side of
the bed and shook the shoulder of the sleeping boy.
"Wake up boy. Wake up!"
Lance started awake from his sleep, and immediately
realized that he wasn't alone in the house anymore.
"Oh! Hello there."
The seven dwarves all nodded in acknowledgement.
"Who are you? What are you doing here" they asked
politely.
"I'm Prince Lance. I'm sorry...but I
stumbled in on your house today after....after...."
The dwarf with the sunglasses and receding
hairline piped up, "After what?"
Lance gulped. "I was taken out by the
huntress Nan and she had instructions by King Justin, my stepfather,
to kill me."
The dwarves gasped. "NO!"
Lance nodded, "Yes. But she didn't...and
she told me to run away....and that maybe the King would never
find me. He's out of his mind with jealousy, his magic mirror
tells him that I'm cuter than he is."
Pudgy nodded, "Well, you are. You're
a little hottie."
Lance smiled bashfully. "Thanks."
The 7 dwarves and Prince Lance talked about
his situation over the hearty dinner that he had prepared for
them that afternoon, and by dessert, it was agreed that he could
stay as long as he kept the house clean and cooked their meals.
The 7 dwarves warned the young prince to keep the doors shut
during the day while they were away, less the Queen....errr..less
Justin would track him down and try to kill him again.
Meanwhile, back at the castle....
King Justin smiled cruelly down at the box
containing the now still beating heart of the young heir of
the kingdom. Nan, the huntress, had done a fine job, eliminating
his only contender for both the crown and the title of cutest
in the land. The King smiled as he thought of it, and made a
mental note to make sure that Nan came into a generous retirement.
Taking the box to his bedchambers, Justin
held it before him and smugly asked the mirror his usual question.
The mirror yawned and appeared before him immediately.
"Whaat....oh...you again? Fairest in
the land, huh? Jeez....Er...I mean...<AHEM> Here goes...."
"The answer you seek remains the same,
and I grow tired of this game."
Justin interrupted. "Look again, mirror,
I hold his heart within my hands."
The mirror studied the open box before him
and smiled suddenly, causing Justin to frown and step back.
"Your huntress failed to complete your
plan, tis a pigs heart you hold within your hand. Deep within
the darkest forest, over many hills and dales, the young prince
lives safe and earnest, with seven friendly males."
Justin threw the box to the floor. "That
SLUT! Seven Men!!"
The mirror did its equivalent of rolling
its eyes and faded out, mumbling something about the pot calling
the kettle black.
Justin turned and headed down to the dungeon
of the castle, to his secret laboratory.
"Damn that inept huntress!" Justin
swore as he opened the door of the dungeon, erasing the mental
retirement note he had made for the huntress, and replacing
it with one to have her slowly tortured and put to death.
Justin opened his grimoire and flipped through
the pages quickly.
"Let's see here. Can't send a woman
to do a man's job...so I'll have to do this myself. I'll need
something to disguise myself as well as something to kill the
young prince."
A few minutes and some turned-down corners
of pages for reference, Justin let out a whooping bout of wicked
laughter.
"Here....This is it! I'll poison a collection
of combs and brushes, and disguise myself as a door-to-door
brush salesman."
Minutes later, he had concocted the poison
and sprayed it on the brushes and dipped the combs in it. Justin
searched through the clothes in the disguise closet he had kept
from when he was dating the old King as well as few other hot
men in the kingdom. He knew the King would have had him beheaded,
so he would sneak out in disguise, and the King never suspected.
Justin emerged in a spotted polyester suit
and pants and smiled as he packed his suitcase full of the poisoned
brushes and combs, and then set off into the night for the dwarves
house.
The next day, after cleaning up from breakfast
and sewing together some fabulous new curtains for the windows
of the house, Lance sat in the library of the house, reading
from one or two of the library's texts on preparing economical,
healthful meals for groups of 6 or more. Lance jumped slightly
as he heard a sharp rapping on the door.
Lance looked out the window next to the door.
"Who is it?"
"Come out and buy my wares. There's
a sale today! Brushes and combs!"
Lance ran a hand through his tussled hair
and smiled at the thought of getting few nice combs or brushes
for everyone to use. He opened the door and went outside, not
recognizing his father-in-law in disguise.
"Ohhh...I'd like to get a few of these.
This one, and this one, and this one...and this one."
Justin smiled in his disguise. "Surely.
And here, I'll throw in this extra one for you." He put
the brush in Lance's hand and the rest of the brushes and combs
Lance had picked, he placed on the little worktable outside
the house.
Lance smiled and ran the brush thru his hair.
The brush stuck in a knot in Lance's hair and then smacked into
his scalp, wherein, Lance fell over, apparently dead.
Justin threw off his diguise and laughed
heartily. 'FOOL! Now I am cutest in the land once again!"
As Justin hurried back to the palace to consult
his mirror, the dwarves returned home and saw Lance laying outside
the house with a brush stuck to his head, apparently dead.
Gimpy, who had gained a lot of medical knowledge
from the time he had spent in the hospital with his heart surgery,
knelt down and yanked the brush, the source of the poison, out
of Lance's hair. Moments later, Lance began to breathe normally
once more and groaned as he ran his hand over the now hairless
area on his head where the brush had gotten stuck and ripped
out. The dwarves took Lance inside and scolded him for letting
anyone into the house after they had told him not to.
Later that night, back at the palace....
Justin stood once more in front of the mirror
and smiled. "Mirror, Mirror....tell me."
The mirror didn't wait for him to finish.
"It's still him, you vain queen, try again!"
"WHAT!" Justin yelled, "But
I saw him die!"
The mirror snorted derisively, "You
saw him fall, but didn't check to see if the poison's work was
thru. But his health returned and he got well, with the poison
brush removed."
Justin slapped his palm to his forehead.
"Arrgh! So Stupid!"
The mirror agreed and then disappeared as
Justin fumed and swore about his failure and made a note to
make plans to order a less hostile magic mirror.
Justin again went back down to the dungeon
to consult his grimoire.
"This time, I mustn't fail! Let's see
here. Ahhh! YES! This will do nicely!"
Justin conjured up his new weapon and then
found another, even more cunning disguise, and headed back to
the dwarves house.
The next day, Lance had finished cleaning
up from breakfast and was measuring out space for a second full
bathroom, shaking his head and wondering how seven men could
even live in a house with only one and half baths. Lance jumped
when he heard a rapping at the back door. He walked over and
looked out the window to see who had come calling.
"Who is it?"
"Hi there. I am just collecting for
the "Make Prince Lance The King" Foundation and was
wondering if the guys that lived in this house wanted to contribute.
Lance opened the door and smiled at the young
man before him.
Justin, disguised as a charity case worker,
smiled as Lance foolishly opened the door. He faked a gasp and
then acted as though he just recognized the prince and was star-struck
"Oh WOW. Your majesty. Um...Wow. Like...can
I, like, get your autograph? Um..Here. You can have one of our
special shirts that we made up to give to our big donors.
Lance smiled as the man offered him a lovely
white stretch lyra shirt with the slogan, "Make Prince
Lance King". Lance slipped the shirt on and smiled at the
young man in front of him who had begun to laugh. Lance realized
his mistake as the shirt began to tighten and tighten like a
vice around his neck, chest, arms and waist, choking the air
slowly out of him. Lance looked up just before he passed out
and saw his father-in-law, out of his disguise and still laughing
at him as he turned and walked back to the palace.
As Justin turned the bend on the path back
to the palace, Twitchy ran up the path from the dwarves recording
studio and found Lance laying on the ground, his face starting
to turn blue as the shirt began to crush his ribs and press
the air out of his body. Twitchy ran into the house and got
a sharp knife and sliced the shirt down the middle, from the
neck to the naval, and then down both arms, freeing the prince
from its deadly grasp.
Lance moaned and gripped his bruised ribs
as he gasped air back into his body. "It was the Quee...umm...it
was Justin again. He tricked me."
The rest of the dwarves finally arrived back
at the house and helped Lance get standing and back into the
house. Lance told the guys what had happened and they again
told Lance not to open the door for anyone while they were gone.
Justin finally made his way back to the castle
and ran up to his bedchambers and to the mirror. He straightened
up and smiled and was just about to ask the question when the
face in the mirror appeared and laughed.
"Once again you bungled it all and Lance
is still alive. You left as soon as you saw him fall and a dwarf
cut the shirt off with a knife."
Justin stamped his feet and screamed. "What
does it take to KILL this kid?!?"
Justin stormed back down to the dungeon,
leaving the mirror still laughing at his failure. Once more
he flipped through his grimoire and this time, he found a spell
that could not fail!
"Poisoned Food...Let's see here....poisoned
cannoli..no...that's too mafioso...hmm....poisoned apples...no...that's
too Disney....hmmm...Poisoned fruitcake?!? That's kind of an
oxymoron, isn't it? Ahhhh....here it is! Poisoned chocolate
covered cherries!"
So Justin conjured a spell to poison a package
of Cella's chocolate covered cherries, and then injected it
into each one. Justin then repackaged the chocolates and then
disguised himself once more and headed back to the dwarves house.
The dwarves left Lance the next morning,
warning him again from opening the door to any strangers. Lance
layed in bed and read for most of the day, as his chest and
ribs still caused him some pain when he moved about. He awoke
a bit after lunch and made his way out to the kitchen to clean
up after breakfast. After setting the last dish on the drying
rack, Lance heard a rapping on the door. He hurried to the window
to see who was calling.
"Who is it?" Lance asked cautiously.
"Candy-Gram from the 7 Dwarves"
came the cheery response.
Lance smiled and opened the door a crack.
"OK. Let's see it."
The man began to soft shoe dance and sing
on the doorstep.
"Heard your feeling sick and blue, achy
sore and tired too. Well buck up Lance, you will get better.
That is why we sent this letter. Just remember what we said,
don't open the door and stay in bed. Keep your head on and try
to stay merry, and here's a box of chocolate cherries!"
Lance groaned, "OK. I get the idea.
I can't open the door!"
The candygram guy laughed, "I'll put
these on that windowsill by the kitchen. Have a good day!"
Lance smiled, "Thanks! You too!"
Lance watched as the candygram guy placed
the cherries on the windowsill and then departed, his merry
whistling fading as he departed the glen that the dwarves house
lay in.
Lance pulled the box of cherries in and opened
and read the note. "Lance...Don't Open The Door....Not
Even For The CandyGram Guy!"
Lance laughed and threw the note down on
the table, "I get the idea. I'm not stupid you know."
Lance then popped a chocolate covered cherry
into his mouth and chewed it, gagging as the poison took effect,
then falling over dead, strewing the other cherries all over
the dining room area.
The dwarves returned home a short time later
and groaned as they read the note and realized their young,
naive charge had been duped once again.
"I think he got extra in the looks department
to make up for his abysmal lack of common sense" Dumpy
said sadly as the dwarves picked Lance up and placed him in
an above-ground glass coffin. Amazingly enough, whether due
to the magical way in which he died, or whatever other reason,
Lance's body did not decompose like other dead bodies would
normally have, he stayed fresh and perfectly preserved, as if
not dead at all, but magically asleep.
The dwarves mourned the loss of their prince
and kept guard on his glass coffin. One day, months later, another
young prince from a nearby kingdom was riding through the forest
when the glare from the nearby glass coffin blinded him and
he steered his horse into a tree. The young man was thrown back
off his house after it was knocked unconscious and came to land
a few feet from the coffin.
"Hey...what's this?" the lean,
young, raven-haired prince asked himself. "Who's the hottie
stiff?!?" The prince was instantly smitten with Lance's
fair hair and beauty and stood memorizing every detail of his
body through the glass of the coffin.
It was then that Prince Joshua stepped forward
to look closer at the man, but being the spazzy doofus that
he was, he tripped and fell forward onto the side of the coffin,
accidentally pushing it off the pedestal it sat upon. The side
of coffin hit the ground and crashed open, pitching the body
of Lance out onto the ground, miraculously unharmed. Prince
Josh groaned as he picked Lance up off the ground, heaving him
over his shoulder and carrying him back to the pedestal where
he once again tripped and the two fell down, Lance onto the
pedestal and Josh on top of him. As Josh smashed into Lance,
he heard a pop and gasped as the half chewed poisoned chocolate
covered cherry that had been lodged in Lance's windpipe was
expelled. Josh jumped as he felt the young man beneath him move
and groan.
"Son of a bitch" Prince Lance moaned,
his eyes still closed. "He poisoned me with chocolate covered
cherries. That does it. No more hiding and playing Mr. Nice
Prince."
Prince Josh gasped. "Who poisoned you?"
Prince Lance's eyes popped open and he smiled
as he lost himself in the other Prince's eyes. It was indeed
a case of love at first sight for both men. Lance blushed coyly.
"Oops....I'm sorry. I...I'm Prince Lance.
We've not been introduced."
Prince Josh smiled, "I'm Prince Josh.
My kingdom is just beyond that mountain. Um....I know this sounds
silly, but, I love you....will you marry me?"
Prince Lance smiled back, "Prince Josh,
I would be honored to marry you."
The two made their way back to Prince Josh's
castle, where Lance told his story to Josh, who immediately
had invitations sent out for their wedding.
Meanwhile....back at the palace of King Justin.
Justin had been pleased as punch since he
had returned victorious from his last attempt on his son-in-law's
life. He asked the mirror his question every day since then
and had gotten back the answer that pleased him. Several months
later, Justin awoke and, after his morning ablutions, made his
way to the magic mirror to ask his question. The mirror's face
was already waiting, a sadistic grin on its face.
"Before you ask me, I'll let you know,
Your answer today is a big fat NO! For Lance lives on and is
engaged to wed, his fiance now shares his bed, and just make
your day complete, his fiance is more replete. They're both
more fair than thee, I fear your plans are lost, for Prince
Josh will make you rue the day that you and Lance had crossed."
Justin grabbed the mirror and pulled it off
the wall and, with a snarl, launched it out of his bedchamber
windows, where it fell into the moat with a splash. Consumed
by jealousy and envy, Justin rode into the nearby kingdom where
the two princes were to be married that day. Justin snuck into
the castle and watched as the two men presided over wedding
festivities.
Lance looked over and immediately recognized
his father-in-law. Lance mentioned this to Josh, who had been
chomping at the bit to find and punish Justin for his treachery.
Josh had his guards fall on Justin immediately, holding him
steady by the castle's great fireplace. Josh then presented
one of his wedding presents to his new husband. He nodded to
one of his servants and had a pair of sheik metal cowboy boots,
a metal mask and a long metal buttplug brought out. Josh presented
these items to a smiling Lance, and the items were taken over
and placed into the fire, where they were heated red-hot.
Justin was stripped of his clothes and held
in place. When the fire heated the mask, buttplug and boots
red hot, they were strapped onto Justin by Josh's servants and
then he was let loose in the room where his muscles jerked and
spasmed and hescreamed in a wild dance of pain and agony until,
not too long after, he dropped over dead.
As they watched Lance's evil father-in-law
fall over dead, Josh toasted his new love and they kissed passionately.
And then they lived happily....er...rather
gayly ever after!
The End
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