Saying Goodbye
by Billy Burrew
He opened his eyes slowly, letting the world
around him come into a shadowy, blur, what with the cataracts
in both eyes that left him nearly blind. He heard a familiar
noise settle in beside him and he tried to sit up but found
that his legs just didn't seem to have the strength to support
him anymore. He craned his head up slowly, the pain in his back
and neck was nearly unbearable, and felt a reassuring hand settle
on the back of his neck.
"Hey bud." came the warm, familiar
voice that he had lived with all his life. Today, however, the
voice didn't sound like he had ever heard it sound before. It
sounded sad. Terribly, terribly sad. He wanted, at that moment,
to take away that sadness, make the voice sound the way he always
remembered it, happy and joyful.
He felt strong hands lift him up and hold
him close, cooing softly into his ear as he was carried out
of the house. A while later, he sighed as he was gently lowered
and placed gently onto a soft mattress. He heard an unfamilar
voice approach him slowly and he tried to crane his head up
to look.
"Mr. Carter? Did you want to hold him
after I administer the injection? I can leave if you'd like,
so you can say goodbye."
I heard his voice again, choked up and sorrowful,
sadder than ever. "Bud...I know you're hurting. I know
that it hurts you to try and get up and get around. The doctors
say that your hip is displaced, one of your vertebrae is herniated
and that you're nearly blind in both eyes."
He raised his head slowly, ignoring the pain
and kissed the cheek of the man that had been his friend throughout
his life.
"Oh....Buddy..." said the voice
in a choked whisper. "I can't do this to you anymore. I
can't ignore that you're living with all this terrible pain
because I am too stubborn to let you go...too selfish to put
aside the grief I might feel in losing you. I'm sorry, Bud....so
sorry."
He put his head on his friend's chest and
whimpered slightly, still hating to hear that voice sound so
upset.
"Mr. Carter" came the other voice
again, "Are you ready?"
He felt the strong arms lift him up again
and he sighed, surrounded by the warmth that his friend provided.
"Yeah. It's time." Nick said, his
voice a hoarse whisper.
He felt the sharp pinch of a needle in the
back of his neck, and then a warmth began to spread from his
neck, down his spine and out to his feet. It was extraordinarily
relaxing. He felt the pain in his bones and muscles begin to
ebb away. He felt drowsy and too tired to move anymore, so he
lay still, listening to his best friend sob quietly.
"Goodbye Buddy. I'll miss you!"
Nick said, between sobs.
The words resounded in his ears as if he
was moving far, far away. They echoed as if down a long, long
tunnel. He no longer felt any pain. No more suffering from joint
aches or blindness. He just let himself get pulled away in the
warmth that enveloped him. A few moments later, he stopped breathing
and slipped away entirely.
Nick sat alone in the vets office in Marathon,
Florida. In his arms he held a piece of his life more dear than
any gold album or award he had ever received. He cried as he
held his dog Buddy one last time. He sobbed as he felt the dog
begin to go limp as it slipped into unconsciousness, his breathing
slowing until finally, stopping for good. He felt his heart
break as he looked down at the lifeless body of his oldest,
dearest friend, the one who had stuck by him over the past 14
years, ever loyal and faithful. Nick sniffled, trying to clear
his eyes as the veterinarian came in and asked if he wanted
them to dispose of Buddy's body. Nick wavered, unable to think.
The vet put his hand on Nick's shoulder and
told him that he would take care of Buddy now. He asked Nick
to get up and follow him, motionig him out of the room. Nick
gently put Buddy on the table and followed the vet down the
hall of the office to another small room at the end. There,
in a basket on the ground was a female dog nursing a group of
tiny little puppies. The vet lead Nick over beside the basket
and pulled up a chair, motioning Nick to sit. Nick sat down
indian-style beside the basket and looked down at the puppies.
"If it's any consolation, Mr. Carter,
but for every sad departure in this world, there comes a happy
arrival, Mr. Carter." the vet said, wiping his glasses
on a hankerchief from his pocket. "I see Buddy meant a
lot to you, and you to him. It was good of you to respect his
time, and put him out of his pain."
Nick nodded sadly. "It was so hard.
I'll...I'll miss him a lot! Maybe I'll get another dog... I
don't know."
The vet smiled. "Really? You know these
little guys don't have a home. Unlike you, their owner didn't
care one whit about them or their mother. She almost died before
she could give birth to her babies. Her owner put her in a potato
sack and tied it at the top and threw it in the waterway a few
blocks away. It was lucky someone passed by and saw the bag
moving."
Nick's eyes widened in horror. "Who
would do something like that? That's sick! That's really sick!"
The vet nodded. "You know, I don't know
what we're going to do with them. It's not like we're in Miami
or some other big city. Not too many people in the Keys want
a whole litter of puppies to feed. They're not purebred or anything...they're
just mutts...so they don't have any value...I might have to
put them down too. That's a shame too, they won't even get the
chance to live, not like your Buddy lived, at least."
Nick looked up and shook his head. "I'll
take them. You're right...they shouldn't be killed before they
get a chance to live. I think Buddy would have wanted me to
make sure they got on OK."
The vet nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Carter.
I didn't want to euthanize them. I wanted them to have a chance.
I kept praying that someone would come along soon and want at
least some of them. "
Nick's face, still wet with tears, broke
into a small smile as, one by one, each puppy finished suckling
and toddled toward him, sniffing him and then climbing into
his lap.
Nick rubbed the ears of one puppy and began
to feel the pain of Buddy's death begin to lessen slightly.
"Yeah...you know I think I need them as much as they need
me right now."
The End
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